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Travels With An Airhead

2010 Finger Lakes BMW Rally Recap

— by Notch Miyake

( Readers, please note: this is humor!  —Ed. )

Thanks to everyone who asked when I was going to start writing again. It's good to know I was missed by a few people. I went through a period where things didn't seem very funny, so I gave up trying to write humor. But the rally invigorated me, as it always does, so I decided to try again. Sorry about that.

Things were a little subdued this year. The chilly weather on Saturday and Sunday held down traditional motorcycle rally activities like skinny-dipping in the creek and standing around yelling, "Show me your ___s!" to all the babes that walked by.

But the cold weather didn't hold down the usual excessive drinking, and telling stories all day and night at impromptu gatherings. The club used to put on a lot of activities like tech sessions, talks, demonstrations, and dice runs, but nobody noticed when we stopped. I think people would rather just walk around on their own, look at bikes, and talk to whoever they met.

A lot of people went on self-guided tours, returning with cases of wine and beer strapped to their bikes. It's a shame we can't sell wine and beer. It would save our guests a lot of trouble and could revitalize the vendor area. The high cost of fuel, the recession, and competition from the Internet has forced most of our traditional vendors to give up. We could invite local wineries and breweries to set up booths in their place. This would even benefit the remaining motorcycle vendors, because once a BMW rider has a few drinks, he will buy anything.

The Flea Market was another big success. It was a good way for people to get rid of extra stuff they end up with at the Rally. One guy walked in, took off his boots, put them up for sale, and then walked barefoot over to the vendor area to find a new pair. It might have been smarter to get the new pair first, but the Flea Market was on the way. Nobody told him that they might not have his size.

The Pin Table finally sold the last of the Finger Lakes BMW Club Frisbees (When was the last time you saw anybody tossing a Frisbee at the Rally?), Finger Lakes BMW Club Wine Bottle Openers (will only open Finger Lakes BMW Club wine bottles without destroying the cork), and Finger Lakes BMW Club Carabiners (used to secure the Finger Lakes BMW Club Coffee Mug to a belt loop until it gets lost because you forgot to write your name on it).

We need to get something better to sell at the Pin Table. Like Finger Lakes BMW Club Condoms. I can think of a perfect place to put the BMW logo. And there is plenty of room along the sides for the club name. It's a much better way to show your colors than a BMW ball cap.

Now, I know a lot of you are thinking this will not be a big seller, given the advanced age of our guests. Sort of like the Frisbees. So I think we should also sell Finger Lakes BMW Club Viagra. In appropriately discreet bottles. Think of it as an incentive. We could offer a package deal with a 10% discount if you buy both. It's a gold mine.

As usual, it was a great rally. With a few changes, it could be awesome.

— Copyright © 2010 by Notch Miyake.

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